Can We Help the Single Black Mother?

Can we help single Black women with children sometimes? Many need help even though some are too proud to admit it but there are some who would gladly accept some help sometimes.  At the same time, women cannot take advantage or manipulate those who try to help otherwise they will lose support instead of gaining some. Your hair and nails is your responsibility, not anyone else's.

The life of a single Black woman has to be one of the harshest among all other demographics; single white women, Hispanic women or single Black fathers. The reason is because Black women face added obstacles in life that other demographics take for granted. Such as family support and child care, the ability to find a companion in similar situations, and the cost of social discrimination.

“More than half (51.2%) of all Black children lived with one parent in 2022, compared with about one in five (21.3%) of white children.” Not to distract away from the other demographics, but Black women are already one of the most underpaid in the workforce. With the current cost of food, child care, and housing, if the woman is going at it alone without family support or friends to take up the slack, they face incredible odds. And it is not beyond reason that a successful Black woman can also help one that is struggling.

Two-income families are struggling to make ends meet and for one person to face this economic climate must be extremely stressful at times. The children, also, are strained and disadvantaged because they cannot enjoy any benefits of life offered to children of wealthier parents or even two-income parents, such as dance school, little league sports, paid afterschool activities or even school lunch. Can we offer to pay a bill sometimes?

Single Black women have to work twice as hard, budget twice as much, attend to their children’s educational needs, medical and extracurricular activity needs. Though many employers offer some assistance to the above, it is not enough to sustain them in their lives to a comfortable extent. Unfortunately, many single women have two jobs which leaves less time for the care of their children. Maybe we can offer to babysit every now and then.

If the parent does not have any family support, finding a caregiver they can afford or trust becomes a battle within itself. Having a car with insurance and the emergency funds to maintain that car in case it breaks down is an added expense if she has no support base. Maybe she has a brother or uncle who can work on cars, or maybe a friend she can rely on, but many times relationships are short lived and she is once again on her own, and many times taken advantage of.

Many single women also have to face the dilemma of finding and trusting in a mate. Black men are not hard to find, but good, available Black men are. Either they are married, homosexual, or downright trifling in their behavior. They are dishonest and irresponsible and single women repeatedly find disappointment and even heartbreak when placing themselves on the dating market. So, many simply accept the single life with no attachments to men and limited friendships with others. This is the new trend, which is basically forced upon them instead of a personal choice.

Some women have turned to race mixing, lesbianism, church and even witchcraft to reduce their stress levels and to find an acceptable companion. Some have pawned off their children to friends, family members and parents and unfortunately, many have faced Child Social Services and had their children taken away, which adds another level of depression and hopelessness to their lives.

Single Black mothers deserve more attention from the public. They have been left to fend for themselves and their children are becoming the product of rebellion and statistics of the juvenile justice system and the school to prison pipeline. They are targeted by school teachers as delinquent, special ed, and problem children, when all that is wrong with them is a broken family home life and stressors they deal with themselves, as children of a depressed parent. Can we mentor a Black child?

Brothers need to step up and help take care of these women. Just to check on them, and not just for psychical pleasure or something in return, but offer a helping hand once in awhile financially, or to even pay for their children’s activities so they can enjoy life with other kids. Churches, especially, should take it upon themselves to help single Black women because the government has dropped them off the welfare roles without a plan that would sustain them financially. 

These low-paying welfare-to-work programs are insensitive to the plight of Black women way more than white women, who enjoy suburban careers from family members, neighbors, and friend networks. Through it all, however, many Black women have maintained a sense of decency in their struggles and the ability to keep their children safe and happy. But the struggle is real and we all need to keep an eye on our sisters and their kids.

To advise these Black women to seek companionship from the church has run its course seeing the church has slipped into the same immoralities of the world, and to suggest black women get a better education or even move to another state has been done to death also. They have sought out all these opportunities and many have found solid independence, but the problem remains; they are alone in this world in times of need. There is no easy solution for the struggles of a single Black woman but there is hope. 

To the single Black woman; find your peace in simplicity, not the extravagancies of the world. See that you are strong for your children and teach them along the way how to overcome the struggles you face. Do not compromise your values or integrity for a morsel of bread. Keep your dignity at all times. Look for the blessings every day that come your way because you are being watched and made to overcome, like you have been throughout history. You are the apple of God’s eye.