How to Avoid Divorce as a Christian
If a person gets married before they know Christ, they risk the chance of marrying the wrong person and for the wrong reasons.
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The issue of divorce among Christians is like a can of worms being opened leaving little chance of getting all the worms back into the can. Too many people have begun their walk with Christ before understanding the concept of marriage and family; well after they have ventured into the world of unfettered sexuality, and made obedient to the man-made laws of marriage and divorce.
From the beginning, believers should be encouraged by their pastors on the correct ways of marriage so they have a clear understanding of what comes first, worldly marriage or a life of following Christ. Early on young people must be taught that they must be born again before they get married.
If a person gets married before they know Christ, they risk the chance of marrying the wrong person and for the wrong reasons. Like putting the cart before the horse. This often leads to bad marriages and eventually divorce. Once a person gets married without being born again, they are bound to that spouse under the law and there is no room for divorce. Please read our message on the Mystery of Marriage.
To avoid any problems, a person should be born again, (John 3:3, 5, Acts 2:38), and allow God to choose their mate for them instead of them choosing for themselves. Stereotypes of men and women and Hollywood fantasies of love and marriage leave far too much room for human error.
“But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Mark 10:6-9.
God is the creator of the concept of marriage and only He can put together a couple that will last forever without the chance of divorce. But a person must have the Holy Ghost under the age of grace – not under the law - so they can leave themselves open to the direction of the Spirit and not their own minds.
“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: but I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” Matthew 5:31, 32.
Because we are no longer under the law, but under grace, Jesus says there is no reason for divorce, “saving for the cause of fornication,” which means one spouse sleeps with another person while being engaged, not being married. You cannot commit fornication while you are married, you can only commit adultery. In engagement (espousal), the couple have not consummated their marriage yet so this leaves them both open to fornication.
The short answer is, young people should be taught from the start that once they start having sex before marriage, they will be trapped into spiritual and physical lust until they are born again, which delivers them from sin. And they should never marry under man’s law while they are in sin. They must be born again and marry under God’s law of grace and faith in the Holy Ghost.
